Previously, on Downton Abbey: Ivy gets a proposal from Alfred, because no one can ever leave this show, but she turns him down. Daisy makes her peace and says goodbye to him. We see Awesome Mr. Mason again for like five minutes. Baxter and Molesley are surprisingly adorable together. Violet figures out Edith’s pregnancy secret and offers to bankroll her trip to Switzerland to “learn French” and/or hide her illegitimate child. Bates takes a mysterious daytrip that is so obviously going to end badly. Anna tells Mary who really attacked her. Rose gets engaged to Jack Ross, but Mary convinces him to call it off, the local church bazaar happens, Robert comes home from America and Mary’s veritable army of boyfriends is still hanging around. Oh, and Green the Horrible Rapist appears to have mysteriously died. Whoops.
How have we already arrived at the Series 4 finale? Sheesh. Lots of ground to cover – and things to discuss – so let’s get on with it.
Previously, on Downton Abbey: Robert has to go to America to help Cora’s Plot Point Brother with some business no one cares about, Mary finds out what happened to Anna, Edith decides to have an abortion, but can’t go through with it at the last minute. Mary and Blake finally start liking each other after they spend a night saving pigs and getting covered with mud, the Dowager gets sick but luckily gets better fast, Tom met a girl at a political meeting. Super Stalker Lord Gillingham and his Horrible Rapist Valet return to Downton for a visit, and Bates looks like he’s totally figured out the Horrible Rapist bit. Oh, and there’s some more pointless drama with Alfred, Daisy and Ivy, but I’m just going to pretend it’s not happening because we all hate it.
What will happen this week? Who can even say. Onward and let’s find out.
Previously, on Downton Abbey: Evelyn Napier and his horrible boss Mr. Blake arrive at Downton for a visit, Alfred learns he did make it into Top Chef School after all, which means Molesley gets a job at last, the only story they can think of to do with the Dowager Countess is about whether she’s being robbed by a staff member, Rose brings in Jack Ross’ band to play for Robert’s birthday and then sneaks a kiss with him in the basement, Bates and Anna go on a date and, oh, Edith’s pregnant. Dun dun dunnn.
Never a dull moment on Downton, am I right? Onward to this week!
Previously, on Downton Abbey: Bates bullies Mrs. Hughes into telling him what happened to Anna. Mrs. Hughes does, but also lies a little bit because we’re all afraid that Bates might go on a rampaging murder spree at the drop of a hat. Cora gets a new ladies’ maid who seems to owe Thomas a favor. Robert does some complicated financial lending to help a tenant keep their farm. Alfred takes his Top Chef test. Evelyn Napier from Series 1 reappears and is a much more attractive boyfriend option for Mary than Stalker Tony. Edith makes a secret trip to the doctor, so you know bad stuff’s probably about to happen, because, Edith’s life.
Previously, on Downton Abbey: Anna is still struggling to come to terms with her sexual assault, Bates is still pushing his wife about why she won’t come anywhere near him, Tom makes some terrible life decisions, Edna creates a pregnancy scare, Alfred decides to try out for Edwardian Top Chef, Edith takes the next step with Gregson, Mrs. Hughes manages to get rid of Edna in the most awesome manner possible, Rose meets an African-American jazz musician and Mary gets a marriage proposal from a guy that’s known her for maybe 56 hours.
Previously, on Downton Abbey: The estate hosts its first big house party since Matthew’s death, complete with a performance by a world-renowned opera singer, a new man for Mary (sort of), a crisis of self-worth for Tom, a super-creepy valet named Green who sexually assaults Anna, and a ridiculously over-the-top focus on card games that utterly no one cares about. Molesley still doesn’t have a job, and has to fill in as a footman at Downton, which he feels is beneath him. Edna works on flirting with Tom and getting him stupid drunk. Alfred makes sauces like a champ. And Cora is actually the least annoying person on the show for once.
Time for an all new Downton Abbey! Who's ready to talk about it?
Previously, on Downton Abbey: Six months have passed since Matthew’s death. Mary is sad and everyone in the house spends an enormous amount of time arguing about how to make her life better. Isobel is sad, but perks up once given the project of minding Carson’s incredibly boring and uninteresting friend from His Theater Life Long Ago. Poor Molesley is sad because doesn’t have a job now. O’Brien quits, the Team Downstairs Love Quadrangle of Doom is still going on even though none of us care about it, Rose dresses up like the help, Cora manages to re-hire Horrible Edna as her new ladies’ maid, and the Dowager Countess is even more awesome than normal.
This episode is only an hour, but it's also like a punch in the face. Let's talk about it.
Downton Abbey is officially back! Series 4 premiered with a monster two-hour episode, full of lots of drama and laughter, as well as a few mind-meltingly boring bits. But we’re mostly just so happy to have the show back, it’s hard to care about that sort of thing right now.
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